The Magic of This House.

There is so much ice build-up around my gate that you have to take it off it's hinges to get out. I decided to remedy this today, so I spent about a half hour chipping away at the ice. Afterwards my hands were super shaky and I couldn't write properly.

All day I've really wanted to watch Teen Wolf. Unfortunately I don't own it and I can't find Michael J. Fox at his finest anywhere.

I wish that wearing solid coloured paisly bandanas wasn't such a faux pas. I think they're super comfortable. Stupid gangs, ruining things for everyone else. I wonder if I can still let my dogs wear them? You know what else I wish you could wear in public? Hammer pants, but those are just offensive to everyone. Especially Vanilla Ice featuring M.C. Hammer.

Ssshh.

There are four balloons in the backseat of my car. I decided to go out to the Library Voices show last night and am glad I did. The energy in the room was crazy. I talked with Chris from the bookstore about how I was going to be spending SO much time in the bookstore over the summer. I said we should play a game of Bookshelves and Capital Cities. I think he was slightly intoxicated. He went up for the encore.

I had a beer. I danced around. My neck was covered in the good kind of sweat. I guarded my face from the chick in front of me who was dancing like she was at a Metallica show. I saw a guy who was being blown away by Library Voices. We were drinking the same beer. I smiled at him. He smiled at me.

Half of the room was comprised of drunk high school kids who were fucking annoying. Balloons fell from the ceiling. I felt like I was at prom, or I guess what movies have taught me feels like going to prom. I've never been.

There are four balloons in the backseat of my car. It was a good night.

Daffodil Watch 2009

Chuck Palahniuk... I don't know if I can handle you. All I'm going to say is, "Dry humping on the floor of a museum. Wow."

I finally bought a vase for my daffodils. They haven't opened up yet, but I'm hoping by tomorrow morning they have. It'll be like they are saying, "Welcome to work, A. We hope you have a great day." And then I totally will.

My lunch date stood me up today. I went to his office later and was all, "What's this shit?" And he was all looking terrible and green. I didn't hold it against him.

I had to put together about a million shannon files today, so I made a fort at my desk. Tomorrow I get to wear jeans to work! I've never been so happy about anything today.

Hemlines Will Flare.

I feel like I've been blogging a lot lately, but nothing really significant has been happening. I'm just coming off as the least interesting person in the world.

In other not very interesting news, Daniel and I tried to rig the candy machine at work today, to get all of the candy. It didn't work. We're going to bring a coat hanger tomorrow and try again. We will get the candy! Once, back in the days of my youth (Sigh. Nostalgia.) when we were hanging out at Smitty's alot, there was a candy machine that someone melted the side of, so we fished our fingers around and took SO much candy. I had candy in all the pockets of my clothes and compartments of my purse.

I feel like an office drone. Corporate Canada has gotten hold of me and it's not good. I'm always telling office stories that seem good when you're in the office because everybody's wearing black and gray, but when you get outside everybody's wearing bursts of blue, shocks of green, colourful patterns and then all of a sudden you're great office stories seem to be lacking in everything that makes a great story.

I love when friends write "Wash Me" on cars. It just shows how much they care.

You know those moments when you feel truly alive? Like you're on a train leaving Paris and you think, I want to fucking change the world? I was feeling exactly the opposite today, so I went into my fridge, took a real lemon and squeezed it right into my mouth. That woke me up.

Come Forth Ye.

The lottery was won in my province. The jackpot was seventeen million dollars. The rumor mill has been working overtime in my office. Apparently the person is roughly my age. I hope it's a cute boy and that he takes me away. Wouldn't that be lovely. Anyway, the person hasn't come forth yet, so we wait with baited breath. It's so exciting! I'm totally going to go to the press conference. I'll be the one quietly sulking in the background, wishing it was her.

On unrelated topics, I'm cooking rice, I just won ten dollars on a scratch 'n' win, and I'm thinking about going for a walk outside. It's kind of chilly though. I still think I should.

Puddle Jumping.

This was pretty much my day: I wasn't feeling great, coupled with my lack of motivation led to a nice day in bed reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter with my dogs. Around seven it became too much and I went outside and walked around. It's that perfect time of year because it's not too hot and it's not too cold. Also, you can wear rubber boots and walk through (read: jump in) puddles. I don't care that I'm twenty, you're never too old to do this.

This is a squirrel I saw when I was stumbling back to work after lunch beers the other day. I must have thought he was the coolest thing ever because I have about nine pictures of him on my phone. I wish I was kidding.

Boys Don't Make Passes At Girls Who Wear Wrap Dresses.

Friday was another one of those really nice office-y days where nothing of significance happens, but you still leave feeling good. Went for lunch at Cafe Novia just down the street from where I work.

After my really nice day at the office, I come home to some really SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY news. My mom did my taxes for me and I owe a thousand dollars. I pretty much instantly started crying. I yelled "Fuck the system" a lot and talked about wanting to go to jail, because they get three squares, a roof over their heads, no taxes and cable t.v. I can't even fucking afford cable t.v. Screw you people who commit crimes and then sit around on your stupid asses all day long. Fuck you. I could go on this rant for much longer, but nobody wants to hear it and I hate sounding like this kind of person.

I've been a very mopey person today, so I'm going to shower, throw on some of my nicest threads and hit the town, dinner and a movie style. I still can't wait for spring. Apparently it's supposed to freezing rain this weekend, followed by some snow.

Real Lemon?

A couple of things:

1. I've been reading a lot the last couple of weeks. Mainly these:2. I bought this bag at Value Village for two dollars. I love it.3. I find this couple to be so odd. She's so tiny and he's so huge.

I had one of those really great days today. One where everything falls into place, the clock ticks extra fast during work hours, and then slows to allow leisurely hours before the next round. The first half of work was completely dead, so I read my book all morning. At lunch I went to the library and picked up some more books.

"Oh, I thought you were being a racist bitch." We laughed, me normally, him like Drew Carey.

Swearing in the Aisle of a Wal-Mart

Apparently today warrants a double post.

I spent the better part of the day cleaning out my mother's room and buying her things. I purchased a new bedspread, sheets, pillows and a nice rug. It doesn't look like much yet, but I'm buying bamboo blinds for the window, curtains for the closet and we're looking at paint swatches tomorrow. I just wanted to do something nice for her because she's always working and doesn't really have the means to do it for herself.

We're thinking something along the lines of these. We're crazy like that. And yes, that is wood paneling in the background.

Yesterday, Tomorrow and Tonight.

I've been bit by the spring cleaning bug, and I'm loving it. I woke up super early this morning and stared cleaning my house. I got a phone call around 11:00 from Vicky saying she had something for me. I went over and she gave me all of the Anne of Green Gables movies. We sat around and had coffee. After awhile she said, "Shit, I have to feed my babies." Just to clarify, she's pushing sixty and was talking about her lambs.

We went out to the barn and she showed me all the babies. So freaking adorable. One of them was in a splint because the mother had stepped on it and broke it's leg. It's name was Debbie. I helped feed them, which is so fun to do. They just go ape shit on those bottles.

I couldn't get a really good picture, because they were all over the place and I only had my phone.

Vintage Vests.

We went second hand shopping today. I found this cute little vase. It's from Germany. In other news, today was the first spring-y day of the year! It was awesome. I broke out the Birkenstocks and rolled up my pants. After shopping I came home, opened my bedroom window and took a short cat nap. Mass amounts of laundry and Gilmore Girls rounded out my day. I had to drive my mom to some gala thing tonight, and then wait around for her to call me to pick her up. Holy role reversal, Batman.

I missed the MK's (Boo!) play tonight. It would have been nice. I haven't been to a show in seventeen fortnights.

Tax Time.

I forgot to mention the best/worst part of the conversation from the bus yesterday.

Guy #1: To be honest, fuck, I wish someone would just put a bullet in my already.
Guy #1's Girlfriend: Yeah, I know.
Guy #1: Err, I heard that. Why you gotta be like that? Damn.
Guy #1's Girlfriend: Well!

Somebody at
work this morning,
said I had a shiny personality
and then
gave me one
of his chips.

I hate taxes. Hang it up, Tax Man.

100 Full Length Sandwiches.

Had lunch with Kate today. Egg salad. Mmm.

Actual Conversation I Overheard on the Bus Today:
Guy #1: Hey man, haven't seen you in a while.
Guy #2: Yeah man, you working still?
Guy #1: Nah man, I got a bunch of court coming up.
Guy #2: Oh really man?
Guy #1: Yeah man, fuck, a couple D.U.I's and some new stuff. Theft (At which point I tighten my grasp on my purse.) and some arson. Fuck man, remember Dave.
Guy #2: Yeah man, fuck. Dave.
Guy #1: You still smoke with that guy?
Guy #2: Nah. Don't do that shit anymore man. I'm just working and going home for a beer.
Guy #1: Man, that guy's crazy. I hear ya on the beer. (At which point he pulls out a liquor store bag filled with wine coolers and vodka.) Shit man, I love this fucking Yellowtail wine.
Guy #2: Cool.
Guy #1: It does what a twenty-six does, but it's like.. more healthier for you and shit.
Guy #2: Yeah man, straight to the head, man.

At which point I couldn't take any more and I put my headphone back in. I listened to so much music at work today. Complete albums, which I hardly ever do at work.
1. Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak
2. Tegan and Sara - The Con

3. Feist - Monarch (I love the song Family.)

4. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - Living with the Living

5. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow

6. The Shins - Oh, Inverted World

7. Thao With the Get Down Stay Down - Brave Bee Stings And All

8. Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak

9. Thao With the Get Down Stay Down - Brave Bee Stings And All

Helmet Heads.

Today has been going in slow motion (so slow that I documented my supper making), but in a good way. The soundtrack of my day has been heavy on the Kings of Convenience and Feist. Did you know Feist sings on one of the Kings of Convenience records? Well, she does.

I made supper tonight and it turned out really well.

My dogs were being evasive while I was cooking...I eventually caught their faces by saying someone was out the window...

Nothing Beats It.

It feels like winter apocolypse outside. The winds are CRAZY. We just got back from my brother's farm which turned out to be a good time. I know I'm a horrible person, but I have a favorite neice. She's four going on twenty and she's freaking adorable. Sample Conversation:

Nicole: Umm... Did you know that in my class there is mustard on the roof?
A: Really?
Nicole: Yes. I think somebody took a mustard bottle and squeezed really hard. Or they were having a mustard fight and ran out of ketchup. Or somebody had a sandwich and threw it at the roof.
A: Is it everywhere?
Nicole: Most definitely.

Too cute. They live in the biggest house I have ever seen. It has a huge underground outdoor pool, indoor/outdoor fireplace and sound system, hot tubs (yes, plural) and six bathrooms. Upstairs is wide open and set up as a huge play area, which pretty much consists of emptiness and a mattress that they propped against a wall to take flying leaps at. I definitely took a couple of flings at it. So much fun.

I had a very reminisce-y night about my days of getting picked up by the school bus and getting dropped off by the school bus.. and hanging out on the school bus. The school bus ceased to be fun in the tenth grade.

Every Now And Then.

Today was a complete turn around from yesterday. All three of my supervisor/bosses were out of the office so I pretty much got to do my own thing today. I read at my desk. It was fabulous. Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman is so good. I'm in love with Vance Druid. It's a little weird, but I am, so deal.

At lunch I went to Fabricland and bought replacement buttons for a vintage-y dress that I bought in Calgary. It was such a beautiful day outside so I sat in the park and continued to read my book. A man drove by on a bicycle and said, "Perfect day to be doing that." My hands got cold so I eventually wandered into my building where I had the following conversations:

1. How much I read, which lately hasn't been much but apparently everyone I work with thinks I'm some huge intellectual who always has a book in my back pocket.
2. How svelt I look in my green shirt, even though I'm the heaviest I've ever been.. ever.
3. Tangy Twister Mike & Ikes. Yay or nay. I personally say nay because they are too intense for my taste buds.
4. Boobs. Just general thoughts. Apparently I should show mine off on a more regular basis.

I had pizza for supper and sewed my new buttons on while simultaneously watching Gilmore Girls and mentally undressing Logan. All around good day. Tomorrow I have to ride the bus, which will give me time to finish reading my book. After work we're going out to my brother's farm to visit my neices and nephew. I don't want to go. Does that make me a bad aunt? Probably.

Sunglasses At Night.

Last night I was perfectly content on being evasive and staying in my house watching What Not To Wear re-runs, but all of my really lame (see: awesome) friends tracked me down and made me go out. Aimee phoned me around eight and I was already in my pyjamas. It's much easier to say no to a friend you've had forever who already knows you're lame than it is to someone new who doesn't know yet. Kristy phoned me around 9:30 and asked me (nay, TOLD ME) to go out. I gave in.

It was a pretty good night. We went out to O'Hanlon's. It was dance party night. We danced up a storm. There was talk of starting a conga line, which I'm sad to say never happened. We met this kid Jason a couple of months ago who we talked to all night and he had bought us drinks, he showed up last night. We were going to hang out with him after we closed down the bar, but it never happened which was kind of sad. I'm glad in a way that it didn't happen because I literally went home, sat down in front of my computer and woke up on the floor.

Yesterday afternoon was spent at the tattoo parlor. Kayla was getting her tattoo. I knew the tattoo artist and I hadn't seen him in forever so I tagged along. His baby, Nixon, is possibly the cutest baby ever! We (not the baby and I) drank beer out of red plastic cups in the middle of the afternoon. I made a phone call on the sidewalk of Broad Street holding my red plastic cup filled with beer. I felt infinitely hardcore. I actually drank a lot of beer yesterday. Two at the tattoo place and then one at the bar. I realize three beer doesn't seem like much but I usually hate beer.

Friday night we drank absinthe and I drunk texted Jon... I don't really remember the call, but apparently I was very entertaining and possibly came onto him. I think he lies... about the coming onto him part anyway.

How much do I sound like a huge lush right now? In my defense I hardly ever drink. This just happened to be a very drunk weekend. I don't like how my head feels this morning... foggy.