How my day became slightly better.

1. I bought a plane ticket to London! Well, Aimee did. I will pay her back as soon as my money comes through.

Our Schedule:

Step One: We greyhound it to Calgary at 12:00 noon on March 25th. Arrive just after midnight at the airport.

Step Two: Wait forever to board a plane to Toronto. The plane leaves at 4:00. That's in the p.m. bitches.

Step Three: Get to Toronto and run to catch our international flight, which is apparently in another terminal that can only be reached via airport shuttle.

Step Four: Get on flight to Heathrow at 11:55 p.m. Fall asleep immediately .

Step Five: Arrive at Heathrow just before noon on the 27th. I am apparently stupid because I can't wrap my head around the time change. Eesh.

Step Six: Find hostel, check in, have minor meltdown/fits of giggles.

Step Seven: Have the best time ever.

2. I bought a rucksack. I was freaking out because all of the backpacks I was looking at to take with me were well over a hundred dollars. I (meaning Aimee) just purchased the coolest old school rucksack ever! And it was under $20! It is definitely used because on the inside fold it has "Simnett" written in permanent marker. Character, baby. My rucksack is to backpacks as harwood floors are to houses. Awesome, in case you didn't get it.

I think I've just hit some sort of blogging record. Three times in one day. Yikes. It is totally addicting. I don't even care if no one is reading. So fun!

Sidetracked

I haven't left yet because I became sidetracked by my chicken making.
Also, JOSH RITTER IN ONE DAY! I am stooooooooked.

New Day.

Today I woke up super early, was going to shower, cook chicken for my salad and then go to work. However, I decided that if I went to work today I would probably have a breakdown and freak out at my boss, so I stayed home. I was now faced with two choices. A) Curl up into a ball of self pity and go back to sleep, or B) Get up and quit being a weiner. I chose to not be a weiner. And do housework.

I did the dishes.
Playlist:

The Winner Is - Mychael Danna/DeVotchKa
Blonde on Blonde - Nada Surf
Cayman Islands - Kings of Convenience
Painting by Chagall - The Weepies
My Favorite Book - Stars
The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us! - Sufjan Stevens
Just In Case - Leeroy Stagger
Enchantment - Lily Frost
Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
Tonight You Belong To Me - Josh Ritter
Sea of Love - Cat Power
Tout Document - Feist
Gotta Have You - The Weepies
I Dreamed We Fell Apart - Memphis
After the Afterlife - Chad VanGaalen
Rain City - Turin Brakes

OK, I was a little bit of a weiner because it's a really depressing playlist, but in an uplifting kind of way. Anyway, I'm off to the hospital. Wish me luck.

p.s. I love Julie Delpy. She always gets me out of a funk. How could she not?

Worst. Day. Ever.

My Uncle Leo is in the hospital. He just had surgery, and it doesn't look good.

My brother has yet again not come through for me. This pales in comparison to my Uncle, but it's still really depressing to think that you would do everything within your means to help someone and they can't even fucking sign their name on a fucking piece of paper.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

My head is about to explode from crying.

There is no bright side to today, it was just wrong.

I'm going to bed.

Top 10:

Playcounts on my iPod:

1. Good Man by Josh Ritter (86)
2. Smiley Smiley by Hylozoists (40)
3. Medicine Ball by Rogue Wave (35)
4. Gypsies Tramps and Theives by Cher (32)
5. Parentheses by The Blow (31)
6. Breakfast in America by Supertramp (31)
7. Belgium or Peru by Cuff the Duke (29)
8. Plea From A Cat Named Virtue by The Weakerthans (29)
9. (Hospital Vespers) by The Weakerthans (29)
10. Lillian, Egypt by Josh Ritter (28)

The reason this blog was spawned is simple. Clair made me guess her top played song on iTunes the other day, which turned out to be the same as mine!

Things I have learned from this list.

-I love Josh Ritter and The Weakerthans. They get two spots for top ten! Crazy shit.
-I'm not ashamed of my love for that Cher song. Or Cher.
-This is not a very accurate representation of my current musical listenings. This is more like three months ago.

The void that was my day.

Things I did today:
1. Went to work. Fruitless.
2. Went to the bank to take out a loan. Fruitless. I need a co-signer.
3. Came home and promised myself I would go to bed SUPER early because I was falling down tired ALL DAY. Didn't.
4. Read "The Kite Runner". Awesome, but totally sad. Haven't reached the hopefully cheery ending yet. Although I somehow don't think shit is going to get better.
5. Wrote pointless boring blog.

On a cheerier note, I just finished rolling my change and I have $96.50! Also, on Thursday when we went to see Holy Fuck I had bought my cousin's friend a ticket and he paid me back with two pieces of a ten dollar bill. No biggie, right? Wrong. I lost the other half of the ten dollar bill. Crisis averted! I just found the other half behind my desk.

Funny things during my day with Clair yesterday:

Me: I want to live in Jalaladad.
Clair: No. You don't.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: Goodnight.
Clair: Goodnight.
(Upon realizing that I still have Clair's coat on, I whip around to run back to her car, become parallel lines with the ground and fall.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anything Jon Stewart said during the oscars, but especially:
-Thank God for teen pregnancy.
-Gadolph Titler.

Where did my day go?

Weekend

Things I must accomplish:
1. Clean house. Done.
2. Listen to Ray Lamontagne's "O". Done while cleaning house.

Things I will do for the duration of my weekend:
1. Lay on my couch and finish watching season three of The O.C.
2. Lay in my bed and watch season four of The O.C.
3. Eat the rest of the vegetables in my fridge before they go bad.

As you can see, I'm being super ambitious this weekend.

Also, did I mention, I quit my job on Thursday! Huzzah! My last day is March 14. I said I would work a little longer than two weeks. This is because a) I want to give her enough time to find someone new, but mainly b) if I'm going to be unemployed I will need the monies.

12:30 on a School Night...

And instead of going to bed, I decide that I need to write a blog about what I just witnessed. I just witnessed rock and roll genious. Not in the normal sense of the word. I guess they weren't really rock and roll at all, but they rocked and rolled my world.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=5045699

I don't know what they are like on cd, but fuck, Holy Fuck rocked live. I can't even believe. I actually danced... fairly hard core.

Things of note from this concert:

1. One member of the band had his fly down the whole time. He stopped to tie his shoe.

2. The two wanksters that kept bumping everyone. I think they stumbled in by mistake and thought that the music was close enough to hip hop, so they stayed.

3. Lack of vagina. It was sort of a sausagefest.

4. The awesome opening act (1 of 2) Molten Lava. I'm not sure if that is their name but they pretty much rocked my face off too.

5. The following conversation from the ride home.

Me: Hey Matt?

Matt: Yeah?

Me: Do you think you could fit into a smart car?

Matt: No. Unless I drove it Police Academy style, from the backseat.

Me: (measuring the size of a smart car to the size of my own car) I think only, like, yogilates women drive these kinds of cars.

Matt: Mmmhmmm.

Me: Blonde haired, blue eyed, yogilates women. You know, Arian yogilates women. Only Arian yogilates women drive smart cars.

Taxes

I just rocked my taxes.

Day of Epiphanies

Epiphany the first: I must quit my job. I will do this tomorrow.

Actually, that was my only real epiphany. However I think I have discovered my true calling. Want to hear? Of course you do. My true calling is... ninja. Today, I listened to my iPod at work the whole day without my boss noticing once.

How, might you wonder, did I achieve this feat? I hid it in my undies. Ninja style.

Also my hair was really puffy today because I just showered and ran out the door, which helped to hide the ear buds.

And I had on a wonderful scarf.

It was really just a collaborative effort between all of my clothing. And my hair.

Also, this is really random, but I don't hate Eminem. Don't judge. He's my musical guilty pleasure.

e.e. cummings

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder
that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-e.e. cummings

p.s. My wife hates e.e. cummings. I love him. I just read this poem and almost cried. My nose did that thing. You know?

Lou Bega

Yesterday, on my way home from visiting Uncle Leo at the hospital, I stopped in at Shopper's Drug Mart to pick up some headphones for my iPod and some cheesies for my mouth. I didn't have enough money in my pockets so I had to run back out to my car. Lucky for me because this delay in purchasing my items led me to Lou Bega. Mambo Number Five started playing on the radio. I don't care what anyone says, that is one hella catchy song. It took every fibre of my being not to start singing it in the line-up.

Cashier: Is that everything for you tonight?

A: Everybody in the car so come on let´s ride

To the liqueur-store around the corner,

The boys say they want some gin and juice

But I really don´t wanna!

On a completely related topic, my mom and I were sitting around at 4 today, and were all, "We should watch Dr. Phil". So we did. Not because we wanted to but because we only have three channels... and a little bit because we wanted to. Anyway, I started eating the cheesies from last night when I stumbled upon this little beauty:



That my friends is the cheesie penis to end all cheesie penis'. It even has a little head.

I showed my mother the cheesie penis and yelled "Cheesie penis"!

To which she replied, "Don't eat that. Put it over there."

Family Day

Things I should be doing right now:



We have been without water for a week (because a huge pipe froze solid) so things have been stacking up. Mainly dirty dishes and laundry. I should really get started on this, but it's family day, and I'm lazy. Also I can't find my headphones, so I can't listen to music, which is usually the lure of doing dishes.

I should really get crackalacking. Or a maid.

Things You Need to Know:

One day, while my boss was away from the office, I started writing a list about myself. Just things that were going through my head at the time. Things people might not know about me or whatever. The following is an extremely abridged list:

1. I can't read and eat at the same time.

2. I've been known to start over if my writing is messy.

3. My mind is usually going ten different ways at once and almost always thinking the most ridiculous thoughts.

4. I've watched Beethoven at least two dozen times, and in Beethoven II my favorite part is still when the dad sticks his fingers in the poo.

5. I'm not as tough as I look, although some days I'm tougher.

6. Protestors make me nervous.

7. Boys who read on buses turn me on.

8. I always think of the perfect thing to say after the discussion is over.

9. I love being in hardware stores with someone who knows what's going on.

10. I love holding hands while wearing mittens.

11. Clapping songs make me happy.

12. I once talked to a french man on a CB using the only three french phrases I know.


p.s. I just thesaurused "truth" and it came up with, among many other findings, "straight dope". I find this to be highly amusing.