For Clair.

I, A., retract the previous statement made on Friday, May 30, 2008, that Clair didn't give me any gas money. The truth of the matter is that she did, I just didn't realize it until I woke up this morning and looked through my purse. The sum of six dollars was hiding in my pocket.

There, happy?

On a completely unrelated note:

Oh, kiss her and smile for her
Tell her that you'll wait for her
Hold her like you'll never let her go
'Cause she's leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when she'll be back again.

Miss you already!

Bar Talk.

I just got home from Kayla's birthday shindigging at a couple of bars, and even though I am completely sober, I still feel immensely drunk. Maybe when I think I'm drunk, it's actually just surroundings and not really alcohol at all. Probably not though.

Favorite Parts Of The Evening:
1. A tender butterfly moment in the bathroom.
2. Making a fool of myself in front of some comedian guy, mistaking him for someone I thought I knew, and then realizing it was just some guy I knew from facebook.
3. Seeing two people who I want desperately to fall in love, run across the street hand in hand.
4. Dancing on a speaker.
5. Every time that Stephanie Campbell randomly showed up and Clair squealed.
6. Doing things I'm not normally brave enough to do unless I'm drunk. i.e. dancing on a speaker.
7. Irish car bombs!
8. When I saw McDreamboat. However, not when he was rubbing himself on some blonde. BOO!

I'm off to read another chapter of my book before bed.

To Clair: I was being sarcastic when I said thanks for the gas money. You never gave me any. I love that you said thank you though. It was drunken and adorable.

To Aimee: I'm glad we talk again. The lining of my purse smells like apple vodka.

To Kenzie: I meant no offense. I really am just joking most of the time and you can at least 98% of the time not take me seriously. Also, you looked really cute tonight and your hair was tops.

To Matt: See you in three weeks buddy. Or when I come to steal all of your awesome new music!

To Jenn: If you're reading this. I didn't know that you read this thing. At first I found it strange. I'm over it.

100 Books - Book #1

Starting today and going until the same day of next year, I am going to try and read 100 books. That's roughly a book every three and a half days.

How, you may ask, was this spurred on? Well, last night I was going to watch a movie, and I was bored of all the movies I had. That coupled with my boredom of watching movies in general. I've been watching WAY too many movies lately. So... wish me luck.

Book #1:
His Dark Materials - Book I
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

Suggestions are welcome!

Three Days Ago...

Things Of Note That I Did:
1. I slept late. Photograph courtesy of my mother.
2. I woke up. Thanks mom.3. I started my day with a little sorting of the sea glass I picked in Carlingford, Ireland.4. I then greased my pan...5. For potato wedges
Good day.

See: Boyfriend Of The Week #2

Also, he has a button nose.

Boyfriend Of The Week #2

Josh Ritter.
Heiled as the next Bob Dylan, your girl melting lyrics will make any woman weak in the knees. For your writing prowess and your charming infectiousness, this week's for you.

Dumb And Dumber.

Just Viewed Video.

So, I just watched Can't Hardly Wait for the nineteenth time and I noticed that Jason Segel is the watermelon guy! I love watching that movie because you go back and you always find someone you know, but didn't know about before. Anyway, the guy who is in the scene with him talks about how Velma didn't get very much play, and then Jason Segel agrees. This is funny because he went out with Velma in real life, or Linda Cardellini, who played her. I'm too lazy to check, but I wonder if he was already dating Linda Cardellini/if there were talks of her playing Velma. Hmm...

I just found that interesting.

See! This is what my life has become!

Mindless Fun For Everyone.

My days are starting to make me want to pull my hair out. For example, the highlight of my day was when I realized that my back was really hurting and I haven't been to the chiropractor for a couple of weeks, so I went. Seriously.

I need a job. On Monday, I'm just going to apply everywhere and hopefully I get a job. Even if it is shitty. At least then I will have something real to complain about.

My chiropractor and I had a really indepth talk about The Godfather today. It was... kind of awesome. We talked about marrying a Don.

I have to pay my credit card bill next week and I only have $13. Also, my car is about to be on empty.

I hate the fucking wind. It messes with my nerves. I've really been on edge the last couple of days. For the most part I hide it well. Although, I'm currently locked in my room because my mom is pissing me off something wicked.

I watched Saved today and found it funny that Mary Louise Parker goes out with the same guy in both Weeds and this movie.

Ba-Dum-Cha.

Cinematic Moments From My Movie Watching Day That Made Me Cry:
1. In Crash when the dad has the little girl in his arms and the other guy shoots her, but she has the cloak on.
2. When Jimmy Fallon finds out in Fever Pitch that Drew Barrymore isn't going to have a baby and he puts the Red Sox onesie away.
3. In Crash when super bigot Matt Dillon saves Thandie Newton from the burning car. I fucking love Thandie Newton. Classy lady.
4. In 300 when Gerard Butler says, "My lady. My queen. My love."

Things I Realized I Fucking Love Today:
1. Fever Pitch.
2. Drew Barrymore's hair.
3. Thandie Newton.
4. Gerard Butler.
5. Jimmy Fallon. He sort of reminds me of my Irish husband Tommy.
6. Cream fucking Soda.
7. Clean dishes.

Yay!

All my clothes are clean!

Also, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqh-wiwVzjM

Boyfriend Of The Week #1

Wayne Petti.
Assless musician wonder. Where do you buy your belts, Baby Gap? For the countless hours I have drooled over both you and your music, this week's for you.

Mechanic Talk

"Are you missing a set of your keys? We found some in your motor. Like, IN your motor.''

"I was in Hawaii once, when I was in the navy. I stood in the shade of a palm leaf because I couldn't stand the heat."

"Do you want a beer?"
"No thanks."
"Some rum?"
"No thanks."
"Some whiskey?"
"No thanks."
"Some vodka?"
"No thanks."
"We've got some coolers?"
"No thanks."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm good."

"So, we'll see you next week then?"

Hakuna Matata.

Considering how badly my week started, it actually turned itself around decently. Other than dropping another $350 on my car problems, I've had a relatively successful last two days. Last minute plans to go out to Clair's cabin turned out nicely.

Four girls, one cabin, two cases of alcohol and a May long weekend. That would've been the tagline for Friday night... if we had been in a movie. We started drinking at around 3 and I was passed out around 3:30. It must have been a mixture of the sun and not really eating anything, but I drank maybe 3/4 of a cooler and just felt really sick. Not raunchy sick though, that's more like Italian porn. I had a really nice "nap" for a couple of hours and woke up feeling loads better. Stephanie, Clair and I headed over to the train tracks and flattened some pennies, then headed back to the cabin, where Leanne was waiting.

Cooked supper, played Pigs(?) and decided to go for a canoe ride. I really wanted to take some booze along, but Clair was playing den mother and wouldn't let us take any. I guess in hindsight it was better that way. I was already really drunk and I sort of fell into the canoe for a while and couldn't get up. Apparently the neighbours were yelling instructions, but I couldn't hear.

Rolling velvet
I'm gliding along with my Fomeo.

Those were some of the lyrics to a song that Leanne and I wrote while on the water. I think I was as close to being on acid as I will ever be. I was completely tripped out by the water.

On a completely unrelated note, an inside joke between my mother and I came true today. We've been joking for the last little while that we've been getting to know our mechanics pretty well (what with both of us having shit bucket cars) and that we should start drinking with them. I went to pick up my car a while ago and we ended up having beers with them for a couple of hours. They're actually pretty cool guys. I have some funny quotes, but I'm tired and have bored you all for long enough.

Good night!

Good-Bye Leo: A Tribute Blog

So, today I went to my Mom's Uncle's funeral. I guess that would make him my Great Uncle Leo. He was my favorite mysterious relative. I've heard many stories growing up about Uncle Leo and his women, or the time Uncle Leo ran the car into the ditch. In any case, a top three list for my dearly departed.

Top Three Things I Know About Leo Off:
1. Once when my Mom was eleven, Uncle Leo was sitting in the kitchen with a woman's wig on his head singing "Okie from Muskogee".

2. He went to jail twice for disturbing the piece. My Grandpa called him a shit disturber.

3. The priest today said, "He had the devil in him if I ever saw it! But he overcame and was a man of faith until his very last day."

Once, while he was in the hospital last year, the nurses gave him a mild sedative to help him sleep better. He did fall asleep, but then he started to sleep walk... naked! Also, he was pretty old at the time, so he needed a walker to get around. He was cruising around his floor of the hospital, naked and working the walker. He walked into a few rooms before the nurses caught him. He woke one man up and said, "Wake up, it's time to get working." To which the man replied, "I don't work anymore." Uncle Leo was having none of this, so he stole his robe and continued on.

At the bottom of the funeral card, which Uncle Leo had made previous to his death:

My earthly days are over
No long will I roam,
So pray for me as I did you,
Now that God has called me Home.

To the ones I've left behind me,
In hopes one day we'll be
With God and all the angels,
And the Holy Trinity.

Love Dad & Grandpa

On A Lighter Note
Top Three Quotes of the Day:
1. Father Rushka: "And Jesus said, 'Follow me and I will blow your mind' ".

2. My Brother: "I would be a homosexual if I could have the cowboy lifestyle."

3. Uncle Leo as told by my Mom: "You know Susan, I never really liked turnips. That is, until I went to jail."

One Might Say: A Self Pity Blog

So, I was going to try and be funny and charming in this post but now I am too depressed to do so. I was going to pretend that all of my ridiculously bad luck was not that bad, that I was still strong enough to brush everything off. I'm not. I'm currently in the most pathetic state I have ever been in.
I am:
-all red from crying.
-flat broke.
-in debt.
-clogging my bloody nose with kleenex.
-giving up.

I know that I will look back on this and think, "Man, was I overreacting a bit." Right now however, I feel I am reacting the only way I can. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I guess in the forefront is hopelessness. I am currently feeling like I can't get anywhere. I'm stuck.

My car broke down last week. I took it in and got it back yesterday night, after forking over $400 to get it fixed. That's on top of the $350 that I had to dish out for new tires last week. Today, I was at the bookstore, waiting to go to a job interview and my car broke down again. Now apparently it is going to cost another $300 + dollars to get it fixed again. How long before it breaks down next time? Two days? Three days?

My week in review:
Monday - car breaks down
Tuesday - get car back
Wednesday - car breaks down
Thursday - funeral
Friday - get car back

Seriously?!

Also, there is a really pitiful story about a poor Jamaican woman offering to lend me money out of her tin can savings that she keeps at the back of her spice cupboard. And I guess I can't leave out how nice my mechanics are. They offered to just do the work until I can pay them back. Actually, they were adamant about it. As lovely as the three of these people are, they just make me cry harder because it's always the poor people who are willing to help you out. Not your lame family, who all have money, and know you would pay them back on Friday when your Mom gets paid. Geez.

To Clair: Thank you for just being normal in the face of my crying and self pity. I promise the next time we play Bullets and Hand Grenades it will be just like Butterflies and Kittens.

To McKenzie: I drove beside you down Albert all the way from the bridge to 13th. I even honked and made an effort to match your speed and stare at you, but you didn't notice. You're really good at keeping your eyes on the road! Keep up the good driving!

Oooh La La.

Phrases I Find To Be Charming:
-exquisite beauty.
-a little bird told me.
-cute as a button.
-smarty pants.
-wake up and smell the coffee.

I just finished watching the season finale of the third season of Battlestar Gallactica. It was fucking mind blowing. I knew half of the four cylons that were outed, but it was still ridiculous.

I haven't heard back from Chapters yet, so I'm not sure how to take that.. Hopefully they phone tomorrow. I don't know if I'm too keen about that job anymore. It's only going to be part time, so I'd have to find another job to cover the hours I'm missing out on. Sigh. Oh! I'm making everyone mixtapes. I just felt in a mixtape-y mood.

Chapters Interview.

Interviewer: Tell us a little about yourself. Schooling, past jobs, interests, likes and dislikes?

Amanda*: Well, my name is Amanda. I graduated from Sheldon in 2006 and I went on to have a couple of crappy jobs. After that I worked a year for a local online company doing your basic office administrating duties. I quit that job in March to take a trip to Europe. I like books and film. I have nerdy tendencies. I really like brocolli and I really hate cooked spinach. Not that this has any barring for this job, I just thought I would throw that out there. But seriousely, I dispise Margaret Laurence.

Interviewer: I know. Stone Angel is the worst book I've ever read.

Amanda: I KNOW!

While writing this lame blog I got a call back from Chapters. Yay. I have a second interview tomorrow morning.




*Actual Nerdy Response

Interview Tomorrow. Fingers Crossed.

Reason Why Roland Theodore Pemberton Melts My Face:

AVC: Do you think you'd be a bigger star if you rapped about your dick more?

RP: You know, I like to think I rap about my dick a lot already.

Top Three.

Games Played In The Last Couple Of Days:
1. Piers and Elephants
2. Snowfalls and Dimes
3. Pineapples and Red Food Dye

Games I Wish I Had Played:
1. Garfield and Shutterbugs
2. Park Kids and Jack O'Pumpkins
3. Punching and Diseases

Games I Am Sure To Play In The Near Future:
1. Guitar Picks and Silhouettes
2. Puppets and Orphans
3. Candy Machines and Bass

Honorable Mentions:
1. Lips and Pimples
2. Poster and Broomstick
3. Something* and Pinwheels.

*Help me out Clair, what was it?

Hobble In, Hobble Out.

"I think it's a flat. Now you get in there and it doesn't feel like one. I'm sure they make these things so repairmen can charge you a fortune to get in there. OK. Trevor sent over a lot of different ones. Didn't you hear the dogs this morning? All the commotion. Manny? Didn't you hear the dogs in the kitchen this morning? That was Trevor. Now, you know, I don't think that screwdriver is going to work anymore. Not tough enough."

And on and on it went. These are the words of my mother trying to fix our broken washing machine.

"I gotta keep all my screws together here..."

I had an excellent day today. No closer to finding a job, but it was still nice. I have a really bad cold and had to sleep with my mouth open which sucked. Went to the bookstore and discussed Dublin with some old man trying to sell his books. Then some guy from a band called "Brittney Something and Her Misters" (or something like that) came and wanted to put up a poster in the window of the bookstore. He was in the band and so when he left I said, "See ya later mister", you know, because I'm witty like that. Grocery shopping and seeing an old Russian friend rounded out my day. I think I'm off to coffee with Jenn and Aimee. Wish me.. luck!

You Were Chained To A Girl That Would Kill You With A Look

It's a nice way to die she's so easy on the eye.

I made playlists today.
I stood in my shower for longer than was necessary.
I drove alot.
I cut vegetables, and then my finger.
I walked on my own two feet without any crutches.
I drove my Mom to work and back again.
I ate Smarties.
I obsessively watched Battlestar Gallactica.
I bought a bike lock, then found my old bike lock, then returned the new bike lock.
I applied for jobs.
I almost took a nap.
I had a professional back cracking.
I ate raspberry jello that I made yesterday.
I opened a new box of cereal.
I changed my shirt three times.
I didn't find Arrested Development OR Our Hero.
I drove with my window rolled down and my arm out.
I waved to someone I didn't know.

When I write it out like that it seems that I had a slightly bigger day then I actually did.

Two days ago my Mom sent me to Wal-Mart to buy bleach and pepsi. I was on crutches, but I figured I could handle it. I was so wrong. I was leaving the store, thinking I had managed when I dropped the twelve pack of pepsi on the ground, followed by my car keys. The greeter didn't seem at all interested in helping me so I was about to bend down and pick everything up when this random guy helped me out. Actually, it wasn't a random guy, it was Neal Adolph's older brother Keith. Kind of random, but I still sort of knew who he was. He helped me take everything to my car and we talked about his internship at Sheldon. He taught the psych class that I used to sit in on sometimes and he said, "OH! You hung out with the really tall guy." I found it sort of odd that he would recognize me because I only sat in on that class a handful of times. Anyway, he was super nice and helped me to my car. My self esteem owes him one, I would have been stuck at that door forever.

Four Picks And A Mandolin.

Hour four of Battlestar:
-Paranoia sets in.
-I crave Smarties.
-I want to take a nap.

I really need to get a job. Monday I will look for one. For real.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.