So, I was going to try and be funny and charming in this post but now I am too depressed to do so. I was going to pretend that all of my ridiculously bad luck was not that bad, that I was still strong enough to brush everything off. I'm not. I'm currently in the most pathetic state I have ever been in.
I am:
-all red from crying.
-flat broke.
-in debt.
-clogging my bloody nose with kleenex.
-giving up.
I know that I will look back on this and think, "Man, was I overreacting a bit." Right now however, I feel I am reacting the only way I can. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I guess in the forefront is hopelessness. I am currently feeling like I can't get anywhere. I'm stuck.
My car broke down last week. I took it in and got it back yesterday night, after forking over $400 to get it fixed. That's on top of the $350 that I had to dish out for new tires last week. Today, I was at the bookstore, waiting to go to a job interview and my car broke down again. Now apparently it is going to cost another $300 + dollars to get it fixed again. How long before it breaks down next time? Two days? Three days?
My week in review:
Monday - car breaks down
Tuesday - get car back
Wednesday - car breaks down
Thursday - funeral
Friday - get car back
Seriously?!
Also, there is a really pitiful story about a poor Jamaican woman offering to lend me money out of her tin can savings that she keeps at the back of her spice cupboard. And I guess I can't leave out how nice my mechanics are. They offered to just do the work until I can pay them back. Actually, they were adamant about it. As lovely as the three of these people are, they just make me cry harder because it's always the poor people who are willing to help you out. Not your lame family, who all have money, and know you would pay them back on Friday when your Mom gets paid. Geez.
To Clair: Thank you for just being normal in the face of my crying and self pity. I promise the next time we play Bullets and Hand Grenades it will be just like Butterflies and Kittens.
To McKenzie: I drove beside you down Albert all the way from the bridge to 13th. I even honked and made an effort to match your speed and stare at you, but you didn't notice. You're really good at keeping your eyes on the road! Keep up the good driving!
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3 comments:
When was this! I'm sorry you feel terrible right now. Although, you've seen my freakout so if you ever want to freak out in front of me you're welcome to. We should hang sometime this week. I'll be thinking about you on Thursday.
("freak out" = verb phrase,
"freakout" = noun? I suppose.)
P.S. Goddamn word verification! I am so incompetent!
No problem. I have been trying to hone my normalcy-in-the-face-of-crying skills, so it was good practice.
I will miss you tomorrow when you are in Carlisle and I am alone in the store with no one to play Spaceships and Highlights with me.
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