Oh, Wayne.

I went to view an apartment last night because I want to move out. Well, I'm dabbling with the idea of moving out. I really want to, but don't really want to give all my money away when I have a perfectly good place to live. And I haven't even been spending any time at home anyway, because I sleep at Jesse's almost day of the week. I probably only sleep at home maybe once every two weeks. Anyway, the apartment.

The ad read something like, "Two bedrooms, Cathedral area. Claw foot bathtub, newly refinished hardwood floors, fireplace, open space. In a house with four apartments, yours would be the whole main floor." Doesn't this sound lovely? The price tag was eight hundred dollars a month, which is definitely at the top of my budget, but I wasn't opposed to the idea of having a really great place for a little extra money.

I fantasized all day about what the apartment would look like. I went between being really giddy, to that feeling when you're falling in your dreams. I didn't have any grandiose ideas about what the place would look like. Well, maybe a little, but I'm a realist so I didn't let that get ahold of me. I watch too much HGTV. At the very least I expected the place to be clean. HA. Apparently that's too much to ask for eight hundred dollars a month. After I left the place I took a shower. Literally.

The bathroom had about three different kinds of linoleum in it and the door wouldn't close all the way because the toilet was in the way. There were brown water spots all over the roof. The kitchen was in two parts (part one had an old stove, sink and then you walked out and to the back porch for part two which consisted of a fridge and creepy dishwasher) both of which could have kit comfortably in my closet. The living room was okay*. It had laminate flooring and nice baseboards and open heat grates. But you can't live in a living room. Both of the bedrooms were probably too small to fit a double bed and the main bedroom had a fireplace. I don't think you'd be able to light any fires though, because you're bed would go up in flames.

I was in and out in about five minutes, maybe less. Regina, why you gotta be like that?!



*Okay is being very nice. I think it was just nice in comparison to the rest of the house.